Living with Meaning: Where Are Our Values?
In the first blog of the “Living with Meaning” series, we began to consider how we could increase a sense of meaning and fulfillment in life by asking “what matters?” This question can help us brainstorm the qualities that are important to us in life, or values.
When we know what we value, we can choose actions that move us in the direction of those values toward a meaningful life; a life in which we find worth while upholding responsibility. Living with meaning can increase positive emotions and life satisfaction, and may buffer against anxiety. If your actions reflected what matters most to you in life, how could that contribute to a meaningful life?
Qualities that are important to us, or values, can certainly be things like fun, adventure, excitement, or humor. You may take a quick glance at those types of values and see how they could easily add meaning or fulfillment to life. Yet, values such as work ethic, mindfulness, or persistence could add just as much meaning to life, even if their appeal may not be as obvious.
When contemplating values, it can be helpful to keep in mind that values are not only things that bring immediate pleasure or require no sacrifice.
For example, sometimes to feel our best we need to delay pleasure, make hard choices, or assert boundaries.
Consider different roles one could have in life – parent, friend, child, employee, employer, caretaker. In each role, there are countless qualities that could matter, each of which could bring meaning to someone’s life. For example, as a freelancer, persistence may be an important value because persistence helps you ride the wave of inconsistent workflow. Even though being persistent can be mentally and emotionally challenging, being your own boss adds to a sense of meaning in life.
When we live in a way that reflects our values, we can welcome more meaning into our lives because values are what matter to us.
Let’s consider tips for increasing value in life. Using an example, we will say that compassion is an important value to “Sally.” How can Sally know if she is living in a way that reflects her value of compassion, and thereby allowing the opportunity for compassion to increase meaning in her life?
What Does it Look Like?
How could the value (compassion) be expressed in day-to-day life? It can be helpful to get an idea of what actions reflect each value so that we know if we are moving in the direction of that value with our daily behavior.
For example, Sally could show herself compassion by using kind, warm self-talk or by resting for brief periods during the day when she needs a break. Sally could also express compassion by listening to her friend who is struggling with an open, nonjudgmental ear.
Where Is It (and Where Is It Not)?
Where in life is the value (compassion) showing up? After Sally has contemplated what compassion could look like in her life, she can consider where she sees those actions (or doesn’t see those actions) in her daily life.
For example, Sally asks herself, “do I talk to myself with kindness and warmth? Do I take breaks when I need a rest?” She might think, “sure, I take a break when I need to but I am often critical and judgmental of myself.”
Is It Working?
Do the actions feel sufficient to support the value (compassion)? With an idea of where compassion may or may not be showing up, Sally can consider if that is satisfactory to her. The answer may be yes, no, or somewhere in between; and is probably different for each value she considers.
For example, Sally could ask herself “does using critical self-talk support my value of compassion?”
After following these tips, Sally was able to get an idea of how “in alignment” her daily actions are with her values. This may help her recognize possible areas for change. It may also help her increase awareness about areas of life that add worth to her overall experience, but may have been overlooked as important qualities.
Take-Away Note
If we identify parts of our lives where our daily actions do not reflect what is most important to us, we have an opportunity for purposeful change.
Learn More
Reflecting on values can give us a chance to turn toward growth; to increase meaning and fulfillment in life. If you would like help exploring your values, implementing them into daily life, or support on your personal growth journey, let’s connect for a free 15-minute informational phone consultation to see if Grow True is right for your needs.
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