Living with Meaning: Making Changes
Desiring a sense of meaning and fulfillment in life is something humans can relate to; yet, it can be hard to feel connected to meaning while we manage the hustle and bustle of daily life. Lucky for us, living with meaning does not imply that we’re only having fun and have no responsibilities. Rather, living with meaning implies that we find worth in our experiences, while upholding our overarching aims and responsibilities.
Several questions have been asked throughout the “Living with Meaning” blog series to help us brainstorm concepts associated with living a meaningful and fulfilling life. We have asked:
What qualities matter in life? (also called values)
Where are those values showing up, or not showing up, in daily life? (do actions reflect what we value?)
Am I satisfied with the alignment between actions and values? (do actions bring meaning into daily life?)
Let’s elaborate. If we see that our actions are not reflecting our values, we have an opportunity to make changes to potentially gain more meaning from daily behavior. For example, say you value family but feel you’re always too busy with work to answer the phone when your sister calls. This could be an example of how an action does not support your family value, despite family being important to you. This misalignment between action and value may be unsatisfying to you; a missed opportunity for meaning in your day. What would it be like to assert a work boundary and choose to answer the phone the next time your sister calls? Might it add meaning to your day to connect with your sister?
When we live in a way that reflects our values, we can welcome more meaning into our lives.
If we decided that there was an area in our lives where our actions were not satisfactorily reflecting a value(s), we may choose to make changes. We could choose to commit to action that can lead us in the direction of our values. This can be referred to as “committed action.”
Something that is cool about committed action is that it is often within our control - and isn’t a desire for more control something that most people want? Committing to action can contribute to a sense of empowerment that we gift ourselves by making a choice; making a choice to commit to value-consistent behavior. We could commit to action in a variety of ways. Here are a few ideas:
Set Goals
Goals are objectives or targets that we put effort into achieving. Goals are ticked off our to-do lists after we achieve them. In comparison, values are never achieved. Rather, values can serve as a compass that guide us in the direction of what is most important to us. Together, goals and values work well because goals can include the actions that help us live in alignment with our values.
For example, “Sally” values vitality. Feeling energetic, capable, and enthusiastic adds meaning to her life. Yet, she finds herself often feeling lethargic in her body and mind. Sally commits to action and sets goals to: (1) walk for 30 minutes, five times per week; and, (2) spend two evenings per week with friends for social interaction. These goals, and the actions nested within them, help steer Sally toward her value of vitality. When Sally is more in alignment with vitality, she has the opportunity to gain a greater sense of worth from her experiences.
When we set goals, it can be helpful to keep two tips in mind:
1. Be Realistic – set goals that are challenging, but likely achievable. Set yourself up for success without making it too easy.
2. Plan - developing a concrete plan can help you succeed. You may consider the “who, what, when, where, and how” of achieving your goal.
Learn New Skills
Choosing to learn new skills can help us be more aligned with our values. For example, “Sally” values self-care but finds that she rarely has time to care for herself. This is because Sally finds that she is often concerned about what others think of her, which contributes to her frequent tendency to ‘people please’ and difficulty saying “no” to others.
Sally chooses to seek support in learning ways to enhance her communication skills. She understands that assertive communication can be an effective way of having her needs and wants met, while also being kind and considerate to others. As she practices assertive communication skills, she finds that she successfully reserves more time for self-care. Interestingly, she also notices that the more she cares for herself, the more vitality she has to care for others.
Exposure
Sometimes our actions may not reflect our values because we are fearful or intimidated by the actions needed to support a value. For example, “Sally” longs to travel and see the world but she is afraid of flying. Her fear of flying has prevented her, thus far, from living in alignment with her values of travel, adventure, and exploration. Under the guidance and support of a trained professional, Sally gradually faces her fear of flying until she is able to take her first plane ride.
What fears could be standing in your way? Perhaps fear of public speaking, change, or what others think of you? Humans can overcome fears and phobias, which can support living with more meaning.
Please Note
Exposure to specific fears may be best done with the support a professional who is trained to help. If you are interested in learning more about exposure therapy for a concern, consider reaching out to a professional first to see if support may be beneficial. Grow True Psychology blogs are not intended to replace professional assessment, diagnosis, or treatment.
Learn More
The “Living with Meaning” blog series has been written with the aim of providing general, and hopefully helpful information, about how we could increase a sense of meaning in life.
Elevating our sense of meaning through self-awareness and purposeful change can be challenging. If you would like support exploring your values, turning toward positive change, or help on your personal growth journey, let’s connect for a free 15-minute informational phone consultation to see if Grow True is right for your needs.
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